I discover true community with others (Part 2)
The Bible uses an image for the church that is very instructive: The church is compared to a living body, with Jesus as its head. That's important for a number of reasons. One is that this is an image or illustration of diversity. Just as various body parts have different and equally important roles to play, so do the different people within the church.
Especially at this point in time, our cultures typically consider diversity to be a positive and desirable attribute. One of the hallmarks of the Christian faith is equality between genders, poor and rich, people from different origins and different levels of education. (Just in case this rubs you wrong, I'll talk more about it down below.) Still, this does not come without a cost. As beautiful as diversity is, it's not always easy to be with everyone, especially those who are diametrically opposed to us in their cultural, societal, or generational outlook. The reason why Christians overall (and there clearly are exceptions) manage to be successful with the diversity in their local church is that we can disagree on all kinds of things, but not the love that we are supposed to show our neighbor—really, anyone we encounter—and particularly our fellow believers.
To me, this is one of the most challenging and most "complete" benefits of being a Christian, especially now that most of us don't live in communities of large and extended, multi-generational families or in other kinds of close-knit communities. The analogy with the family is not as random as it might sound. Old-fashioned Christians actually still call other Christians "sisters" or "brothers." While this might feel cheesy, it reflects a spiritual reality we believe in. Think about it: It's a great way to describe a fellow body part (and much less awkward than calling you a toe, a buttock, or a spleen). Instead, we're fellow family members in the family of God's children.
Christians believe that every person was created by God and therefore belongs to God's community in an equal manner. But we also believe that every one of those loved creations needs to embrace God out of their own free will to become a family member, a part of that diverse, always slightly struggling (remember: people!), but intensely close-knit community.
I can't tell you how much I've learned from people who are significantly much older and people who are significantly much younger than I in that community. I've grown so much from people who are not nearly as economically privileged as I am or who are much wealthier (and it has changed me to see the latter helping the former). I've been educated by others with virtually no education and their profound and simple (but not simplistic!) way of embracing the Christian faith as well as by brilliant Christian thinkers who were able to point out and explain intricacies of our faith that I could never have come up with on my own. I've been supported graciously and compassionately when my family needed it, and I've learned how joyful it can be to do the same for others when they are in a situation of need. I've been enriched to learn from others whose hobbies and interests are diametrically opposed to mine, people I would never really have otherwise noticed.
And here is the wild part, one that goes beyond the local community: Though sometimes confusing, it has been breathtaking to experience other communities of Christians expressing their "family life with God" in the way they show God and each other their love and their reverence. Even more unexplainable, I feel like I come home when I enter any kind of church. It's home because it's mine: it belongs to me and I to it. It might be a church of a completely different branch of Christianity, one that I have never seen before, in a country that I'm visiting for the first time, and yet it's mine and the community that meets there can claim me just as much. It's like the sense of ownership you might have regarding your country or your hometown. The beauty of its landscapes fill you with particular pride because it's "yours."
A last point about the local community of believers and its family aspect: We would not be who we are if not for our biological families, in a good sense as well as sometimes in a destructive sense. But no matter how good and supportive your biological family is, there is none that has not had or will not have struggles. Naturally that's true for church families as well.
People have the natural tendency to look out for themselves first. Yes, we hope our faith as Christians will counter and eventually change that. But if we imagine the local church as a place for injured people, injured by their selfishness and lack of love, who come to be made better, then we should expect a lot of people in different stages of healing (I referred to that earlier as the emphasis on "learning" rather than actually "overcoming"). With that in mind, we can also understand that there are going to be difficult relationships, especially given all the diversity and the great range of people we find. But because there is that sense of a family, very often those difficulties can either be overcome or we can accept that we don't have to be best friends with everyone—just like in our real family.
But just like in our biological family, we might have bonds with our siblings or cousins that don't seem to completely make sense—we're so different when it comes to interests or age, yet there is still a strong bond of love and trust. You will find relationships in the church that are similar to that. While this may not happen overnight, there is a great likelihood it will. We could call this supernatural, but I think it actually isn't. Maybe, in fact, it's completely natural.
After all, many in the church share a relationship with someone—God—that goes deeper than any other relationship they've ever had. It doesn't seem surprising that having that shared commonality opens up a lot of possibilities for deep conversations and a kind of communion that is far beyond the ordinary.
In fact, I have found this to be a level of intimacy that I just had not experienced before, creating relationships that are both deeper and wider. It is remarkable especially with someone who is really different from me, who can help me and whom I can help to grow as a person.
This is what I have found Christian friendships to be like. It's not that they're perfect and never change. It's not that they never disappoint. They have a tendency to be intense. And I no longer want to be without them in my life.
